Q. What do cavemen and Paris Hilton have in common?
A. They both like to go clubbing!

Q. What's a caveman's favorite sandwich?
A. Club

Q. What goes UG UG UG HA HA HA?
A. A caveman laughing at his own joke

Q. How many cavemen did it take to light a fire?
A. None, because fire hadn't been invented yet

Q. What's a Homo Sapien urn?
A: "About three pieces of rock a week

Q. How do you make Neanderthal man cross?
A. Tell him that a Homo Sapien earns two more pieces of rock a week than he does

(email me with your better jokes)

Great Prehistoric Books

 

Jean M. Auel - "Earth's Children" Series

>> MORE PREHISTORIC FICTION

 

 

Michelle Paver - "Chronicles of Ancient Darkness" Series

 



Ancient / Archaeology Online Games ......

 

Indyanimation from Jeff Gurwood on Vimeo.


Board Games

Stone Age

Players struggle to survive the Stone Age by working as hunters, collectors, farmers, and tool makers. As you gather resources and raise animals, you work to build the tools needed to build your civilization.

Players use up to 10 tribe members each in 3 phases. In the first phase, players place their men in regions of the board that they think will benefit them, including the hunt, the trading center, or the quarry. In the second phase, the starting player activates each of his staffed areas in whatever sequence he chooses, followed in turn by the other players. In the third phase, players must have enough food available to feed their populations, or they face losing resources or points.

Settlers of the Stone Age

Man's Epic Struggle. The cradle of modern humans, called Homosapiens by scientists, was located in Africa more than 100,000 years ago. The first branches of this family began a journey that spanned thousands of years. Eventually leading them to Australia and America. The enormous difficulties of this journey were overcome because of the homosapiens' unique ability to adapt to its environment. Their highly developed brains and their mastery of crafts enabled them to flourish in even the harshest conditions.

In this exciting game, you will guide the journey of one of these branches. You must strive to spread your people over the whole world. In order to expand your branch of humanity, you must develop certain talents: advances in the preparation of food will allow your people to spread faster and wider, while new hunting techniques can protect them from dangers. And your people will need warm clothes to cross the ice deserts of the north and boats to settle Australia.

Of course, all of this is possible only if you have enough raw materials: meat, hides, bones and flint.

There are many paths that you may follow to victory. But it is certain that the player that settles in the most productive lands, trades for missing raw materials with the other players most skillfully, and is able to best penetrate the lands of Australia and America, will end the game with their nose in front!

Ugg-Tect

Ugg-Tect is a hilarious game of prehistoric architecture in which two teams, made of up to four players each, race to complete stone-aged structures out of simple wooden blocks. Leading each team is the charismatic ugg-tect, who must guide his workers to victory using nothing but a basic vocabulary of primitive grunts, a series of exaggerated gestures, and his trusty club.

To begin, each team elects an ugg-tect to study the plans on a randomly drawn Project card. Without showing this card to his tribemates, this ice-aged intellectual must then instruct his team, guiding them as they recreate the project using wooden blocks.

However, the paleolithic language barrier is an ever-present obstacle; an ugg-tect and his tribemates may only communicate with a limited vocabulary of grunts and gestures, along with a few “corrective” taps of an inflatable club! “Ugungu” means “take,” for example, while stomping your feet indicates the white wooden cylinder. So if your team’s ugg-tect shouts “Ugungu!” while vigorously slamming his feet to the floor, grab the white piece and await further grunting!

Cro-Magnon

In this kind of themed "Time's up" game you have to adopt the eccentric habits of your tribe and evolve it (or fail). In a wacky environment you have to rediscover your ancestral skills such as chacoal sketching, primitive speech, miming and modeling. Help the members of your tribe guessing words and move ahead in this adventure. Give in to the primal instinct dormant in you and let it lead to your victory. Only the hominid who plays one's role and evolves correctly to the stage of Homo Sapiens will win the game.

Contents include:

  • Game board
  • 12 Tribal cards & 135 Wutzdat?cards
  • 6 pawns
  • Timer
  • Charcoal stick
  • Sheet of Primitive vocabulary
  • Modeling clay
  • Fact booklet
  • Rules

Caveman

Caveman is a survival game where your objective is to become the dominant tribe on Volcano Island. It's a harsh world, where marauding dinosaurs cause chaos, other tribes attack you, and you struggle to keep your cave kids survive into adulthood. To set the game up, simply choose a colour of tribals, shuffle the deck of cards and place it on their volcanic resting place on the board, shuffle and place the resource cards on their board locations, and finally, choose and place your three dinosaurs in their start positions around the volcano. After that, you’re ready to play.

The idea behind the game is that you play the part of a tribe of Cretaceous humans who are struggling to emerge from the Stone Age through technological advancements. The players are tasked with winning through two possible paths: players can develop five stone age technologies or can grow their tribe to eight adults. The board is strewn with randomly placed cards that depict animals, berries, caves, trees, and flint, each of which must be landed upon in conjunction with one another to discover technologies.

Caveman Curling

You and your team are entered in the very first Caveman Curling Championship. This game is a "muscle sport" (for your index finger), with a few, very simple rules:

  1. Throw (finger flick) your rock, aiming for the center of the firepit on the other side of the frozen lake
  2. Then move your rock with a Stone Age hammer, or protect it with one of your clan's totems
  3. At the end of the round, the player or team closest to the center of the hut scores points

Featuring wonderfully whimsical art, great quality wood bits and a unique playing surface, this is a finger-flicking, fun-filled game for the whole family.

  • Players: 2 to 6 (in two teams)
  • Ages: 7 and up (though anyone who is old enough to flick a disk can play)
  • Playing Time: 15 minutes

Hunters & Gatherers

Hunters and Gatherers is a game in the Carcassonne series set in the stone age. Players build a prehistoric landscape with tiles depicting forests, rivers, lakes and grasslands. They then send out members of their tribe to hunt, gather, fish and establish fishing camp.

Carcassonne is a tile-based German-style board game for two to five players. It was designed by Klaus-Jürgen Wrede and published in 2000 by Hans im Glück (German language) and Rio Grande Games (English language).

Contents include:

  • Board
  • Coloured people, Hut & Green tokens
  • Rule Book
  • Starting tiles, Land tiles & Bonus Land tiles

Ooga!

In this game each player has a suction cupped spear that you use to "catch" food tiles (dinosaurs or coconuts) for your tribe. The first to get the right dinosaurs on the menu card gets to be the tribal chief who throws the bone tiles to know what dinosaurs you can hunt. The person with the most menu cards gets to be the Supreme Tribal Chief! When you have collected enough dino cards to fill the menu, you shout "Oooga", take the menu card and draws another one.

Comes with:

  • 6 Suction cup spears
  • 60 Dinosaur tiles
  • 4 Coconut (wild card) tiles
  • 12 Menus of the day
  • 4 Dino bones
  • 1 Instruction booklet

At the end of the game, the player with the most dinos on his menu cards wins.

GURPS - Ice Age & Low Tech

The Generic Universal Role Playing System (GURPS) is a tabletop role-playing game system designed to allow for play in any game setting. Created by Steve Jackson Games and first published in 1986 at a time when most such systems were story- or genre-specific. The Ice Age edition covers the Ice Age, where mankind battles for survival. The Low Tech edition covers the dawn of civilization to the Middle Ages.

  • A system of primitive magic – Shamanism – with its own spells.
  • A bestiary of Ice Age animals – including dinosaurs, for a "Lost World" adventure.
  • A complete adventure pitting Neanderthal tribesfolk against Cro-Magnon invaders.
  • Weapons: Cleave an enemy's skull with a stone axe, stab him with a bronze sword, or impale him on your obsidian-tipped spear.
  • Armor: Whether it's the crudest leather or the finest iron chain, any armor is better than none. Plus new rules for piecemeal armor!
  • Vehicles: Steer a dogsled across the Arctic, sail a trireme across the Mediterranean, or ride your chariot over the battlefields of Asia.
  • Equipment: Yokes and plows, adzes and hammers, sundials and locks; everything it takes to build a town or a nation.

Console & PC Games

Secrets of the Lost Caverns

In 15,000 B.C., strange symbols found while hunting remind Arok of an encounter with a charismatic traveler a long time ago. In order for him to find his long-forgotten friend, the most brilliant painter of Prehistoric times, Arok begins a long and perilous journey.

Play as 15 year old Arok and enter a fascinating and bewitching Stone Age adventure. Learn about Prehistoric life, follow the path of your mentor and work with him to recreate the paintings of the renowned Lascaux Cave. Game play/features include:

  • Puzzles - innovative inventory system allows you to combine and create new tools and items necessary to solve an array of thought provoking puzzles
  • Exploration - photo-realistic environments of pristine landscapes and rugged wilderness
  • Survival - hunt, fish, and fend off predators that threaten your quest
  • Create Masterful Works of Art - they will come to life and their stories will help you along your journey
  • In-game Encyclopaedia - filled with historically accurate data on the Palaeolithic period

Released in 2005, it was developed by Kheops Studio and published by The Adventure Company.

Prehistory

PREHISTORY is a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, ie RPG Massively Multiplayer On-line ) played in the third person, with an aim to help each player to learn about survival as part of a community.

Currently in development, Prehistory combines both education and the excitment of a videogame. Players will become Palaeolithic hunter-gatherers, living with members of a clan and will develop tools and weapons to help them survive.

The team are looking for game developers to help with the project, so check them out.

 

Stone Rage

Stone Rage is an online third person multiplayer action game set within the Pleistocene and Eocene eras, featuring prehistoric tribalism, prehistoric landscapes and prehistoric animals. Players will take control of a single character of either a human class, neanderthal tribe or animal genus and wreak havoc in either survival, team objective or deathmatch game types. As players win games and progress through achievements, options in weapon layout, upgrades and personalised character customisation will be unlock, giving a large array of choices to those who do not wish to completely conform to a single archetype.

Every character has a set of unique traits and abilities, as well as unlockables to modify their effects and tactical usage. Since tribal skirmishes and hunts take place across a wide stretch of land, players will encounter sprawling forests with prowling smilodon, vast plains with marching mammoth herds and gastornis scavenging the remains left behind by the prey of dire wolves.

This game is still in development from Mountainwheel Games

Far Cry Primal

The first-person action franchise Far Cry (Ubisoft)  is headed back to 10,000 BC, when early humans walked alongside mammoths and other ferocious beasts.

You will play as Takkar, a nomadic hunter who recently arrived in Oros. Takkar will have to hunt to survive and to construct weapons, find shelter and fend off other tribes. As the last survivor of your hunting group, you will learn to create weapons to fend off predators and defeat enemy tribes to conquer the land of Oros.

Far Cry Primal is out Feb. 23, 2016 for Xbox One and PlayStation 4 and will arrive on PC on March, 2016.

 

And Finally.....

The Stone Age has been defined as the intelligent use of crude tools......

The Computer Age has been defined as the crude use of intelligent tools !!!


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